We’re holding profoundly heavy energy right now. It’s hard to know what’s real and not real anymore. Anytime we’re dealing with something so disorienting, we have to root into what we know is true.
One of the truths I’ve been sitting with is that the majority of the violence and depravity is happening at the hands of men (although women are certainly involved too). I don’t think it’s “man-hating” to acknowledge fact.
Yes, I feel blinding rage at times. But as the extent of these horrors are being revealed to us, something much deeper has taken me over: Grief
The question I’ve been asking myself is: What is happening in the bodies of so many men that would allow for this level of depravity, violence and destruction? When I hold this question, I’m overwhelmed by heaviness in my heart, a feeling of deep rupture…something primal and guttural.
Ultimately, it’s not for me to heal what is happening in men. That is their work to do. But I am the mother of boys and it’s crucial for me to work in the areas where I do have responsibility and influence.
I look at my two boys and am now painfully aware that these violent, destructive and inhumane systems of power cannot be upheld without them. Their hearts, minds and bodies are the ultimate asset. Given this, it should be no surprise that many of the men in the Epstein files are from the tech and media industries - the entities that have some of the greatest access to their precious nervous systems. My boys - especially as white boys - are considered the Crown Jewel.
It feels impossible to fully shield my boys from this world. Instead, I look at it like the disease that it is. I first think about the main principle of treatment in Ayurveda: like increases like, opposites balance.
To understand a disease, we have to understand its qualities and characteristics. I describe the qualities of these systems of power through the 3 Ds:
- Disconnect from Nature/Source energy
- Disconnect from our bodies
- Disconnect from each other
This is the impact of colonialism: systems of power that view Mother Nature - the ultimate nourisher of life - and certain humans solely as resources for profit. In order for those systems to thrive, it has required us to become disembodied and “de-Villaged.”
To heal the disease, we need to reclaim those connections in our bodies and in our lives. We have to attune our children to a deeper reality and nourish their bodies and souls so that they feel it on a cellular level. This is where our power lies. This is how we create a new reality.
We have Somatics and we have indigenous cosmologies and traditional medicine - like Ayurveda - that give us the practical tools to do this. And as a mother, I see this as my most important and imperative work in my lifetime: to raise boys who will become men who are connected to Source, to their bodies, their hearts and their humanity.
This is not something we think our way into. This is practice. This is ritual. This is embodiment. And it starts with us.
Move your body. Tend to your neighbor. Feel your courage.
Much love,
Courtney
P.S. I’m continuing my work with mothering boys during the next few months. On February 25th I’ll be teaching a free workshop called Mothering Boys: Hormone Edition. This is a workshop to help you understand your own hormonal fluctuations while mother boys who are going through big physiological shifts too. You can register here:
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P.P.S. I’m still offering Vedic Astrology readings. These are a great opportunity to give you guidance, insight and strength during this time. You can learn more and schedule here:
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